On this blog we’ve profiled some of the most wonderful, exotic and captivating beaches in the entire world. Beaches that entice travelers to come and experience their mystic appeal. We’ve shown you travel destinations tucked away in tropical havens and waters so clear that they practically beckon you to visit through your monitor. If only they were all so picturesque.

The sad truth is that for every amazing beach, there exists it’s negative counter-part. The truth of the matter is that there are just as many sad beaches as well that tempt no one. Call them dirty, polluted, whatever you like. Just don’t call them your vacation spot.

Here’s your list of 5 of the dirtiest beaches in the U.S.

"Honey, call the travel agent. I want a refund. This is NOT the Hawaii they promised."

1. HANALEI RIVER, KAU’I (HAWAII)
Located on the north shore of the island, the beaches on the Hanalei are littered with pollution. According to The Natural Research Defense Counsel (which monitors beach quality). How bad is it? According to the report, it exceeds the accepted level of bacteria by a whopping 100%. That is to say that there is TWICE AS MUCH bacteria present on the beach and swimming area that is normally acceptable. Hawaii is known for is magnificent beaches, but the northern beaches on the Hanalei river should not be included with them. The good news is that in 2003, the area was a recipient of over $900,000 in grant money designed to counteract sediment and waste-water problems. Because that’s the last thing that you want to think of at the beach…. ‘waste water.’ Eeewww!

Ahh... Lake Michigan. Home of the American Pie Movies.

2. NORTH POINT MARINA – N. BEACH (ILLINOIS)
When samples were taken from this beach in 2003, 56% of the time the bacteria levels were at failing levels. That means that better than 1 out of 2 times you take a dip you could contract an infections disease. The Great Lakes don’t seem so great when they’re teeming with bacteria. It just goes to show that we’re not content with simply violating and polluting the oceans, we’ve decided to move inland and hit our fresh water lakes as well. The pollution of this (and other inland beaches) is likely the direct result of decades of heavy commercial shipping that takes place in the lakes.

Vitamin Water bottle: OK if YOU brought it, gross if the lake did.

3. YMCA BEACH (WISCONSIN)
Take two of the blandest, safest and most vanilla words and places in America (YMCA and Wisconsin) and put them together and you think that you’d have the most perfect beach… right? WRONG! In fact, the YMCA Beach in Wisconsin is the exact opposite. Unless you think of E. Coli bacteria which has caused serious illness as ‘safe.’ Lest we get too far without talking about it again, E. Coli is the direct byproduct of human and animal waste. So while you’re in the north country trying to enjoy a nice summer day at the beach and you wonder what that tangy thing is on your tongue and that stinging sensation on your skin it’s best not to dwell on it for too long.

"The beaches in New Jerseyyyy...."

4. BEACHWOOD BEACH WEST (NEW JERSEY)
According to Saturday Night Lives’ Governor Patterson parody, no dirty beach list would be complete without a New Jersey spotting. I personally think that New Jersey get’s a bad rap for a lot of things, and I love going to Wildwood and enjoying the boardwalk every summer. That being said, Beachwood Beach West is certainly no Wildwood. It’s the anti-vacation beach if ever there was one. With a 60% failure rate for bacteria sampling, this beach recently showed up on a “most dangerous” beaches of the world along with some shark infested beaches in Australia. But the danger here isn’t sharks…but rather the risk of infection.

That's a lot of pee-pee!

5. ALL LOS ANGELES COUNTY BEACHES (CALIFORNIA)
I got a kick out of putting this one down. As I researched for this article and I found the NRDC’S report I scanned over the results. A beach from Florida here, one from Ohio there… and then I saw this. EVERY beach in Los Angeles County was lumped into one giant category. Basically what the Research Council is saying is that Los Angeles is in fact a cesspool…. LITERALLY! I always use literally incorrectly but not in this case. It is a literal fact that the beaches of Southern California are bacteria ridden, having a bearly 60% failure rate for safe level testing. I’m sure that there are beaches in Southern California that are lovely and safe to enjoy, but apparently not in Los Angeles County (at least according to this report).